I don't want to let go!!
Nostalgia, memories, hanging on, letting go, another year older, another year nearly gone. These are all things have been mulling in my head for months now.
It's been a year today since the death of my very dear friend Julie, her voice and face seem to be slowly fading. Every time I passed her bus stop in the morning I could visualize her standing there waiting. Even visiting her husband at home her presence seems to have quietened down. I'm sad that I'm finding it hard to keep her but I guess that's what time does. I do have photo's of her and even a little movie clip that I still can't bring myself to watch.
A lot has changed in my life and in our " close knit group of friends". No longer do we meet at the local every Saturday afternoon, no weekend or week night swarays,no dancing or singing, champagne doesn't taste the same, cocktails no longer are fun and worse the Richmond Tigers did well this year and I didn't have a footy buddy to share the joy in!
I let a few friendships slide. I'm not sure why that happened. I made more friends online and kept in far better communication with them than with people I've known for years. Strange, but I think deep down I know why.
I'm still angry at the world but at least I'm starting to enjoy some new interests like nature photography. Its the small day to day goings on in the garden and in our environment that I'm drawn too and not the big picture.
Well if I keep going I'll be here all night rambling!